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Dedicated to I'm a Gonna Guys and all like them.
I know a guy, lets call him Cletus. Now Cletus is a typical good old beer drinking hell raisin kind of boy. He pretty well maintains a fairly normal neighborly presence and is not really objectionable to have as a neighbor. That is if you don't mind the neighborhood looking like a wrecking yard and you don't cut yourself on all them empty beer cans all over the place..
Cletus does have one annoying trait. Cletus is a "I'm a Gonna Guy". I have listened to Cletus's stories of how he is going to do this or he is going to do that. He always has an iron in the fire and three more pointed at his ass at any time. Now I have to give Cletus the benefit of the doubt though. He has removed the Big semi trucks from in front of my house and it looks like the neighborhood Kids have quit using Cletus's yard and our dirt road for an All Star motor cross event. thank god the rains came to finally keep the dust in check.
No, Cletus is not a bad guy. Cletus is just your typical white trash type guy. I think he was borne that way. he is well meaning at times, like the time he was Gonna fix up our dirt road. you see he had access to large construction equipment. He had this plan to grade and re-gravel our private road. ( another "I'm A Gonna" project) the problem with his plan was he was planning on using my other peoples money.. He wanted us to put up about $500.00 each and he was "Gonna" furnish the trucks and equipment and provide a discount on the gravel. Both the neighbor and I thought it would be a good deal so we told Cletus to go ahead set it all up and we would pitch in the money... Well just like all of the "I'm A Gonna Guys" he was all "I'm A Gonna" and no go. That was a few years ago. and you needed a substantial 4X4 to traverse my road. Ahhh, the pleasures of living life in the big green forest.
In July or Aug of 2006 we finally had the road fixed. All the neighbors supposedly laid out $1200.00 each I'm a gonna guy found a licensed bonded contractor and we got the road fixed. (Now, All the neighbors think they are road captains & speed enforcement). when they think someone is going too fast they run out and scream at the top of their lungs to Slow down. I talked to Cletus the other day when he started screaming at my daughter for going 15mph instead of his 5 mph. I asked what he seemed to think he would accomplish by acting like an ass every time someone went by. He looked at me and thought long and hard then he looked at the ground and muttered "I don't know". Chalk up another one for Cletus. A walking clue with no where to go.
Another famous Cletus "I'm A Gonna" project. As I look across to his place I used to see a stack of fence posts that was to be a nice rustic fence around the Cletus stronghold. Well, after several years the fence posts were used kinda. Good ol Cletus put up a fence in the best red neck "I'm A gonna tradition". Well at least he got something done..
I have had other experiences from all kinds of people, from Cletus types to supposed business owners. There are many out there like them. They are all "I'M A Gonna's" All the way from Cletus to the "I'm a gonna Guy" that was going to buy my airplane. There are several other "I'm a gonna Guys" that have run me ragged with their petty little games playing the eternal lookie Lou's and playing games wanting to buy other things on my web site like My Harley.
this short little editorial is just a "Heads Up" for all of you out there whom have never had the opportunity to meet up with or know your local "I'm A Gonna guy" Watch out, he is everywhere. the next thing you know they might just move in next to you..
Ok, now that I have had my fun I think "I'm a Gonna" go get something to drink.
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